Last summer, I was recommended The Myth of Normal by my dear friend Christal ,Founder of Brave Soles and was dismayed to find myself on a waitlist of 153 at the Toronto Public Library 😔 After months of waiting for the book to be available, I was super eager to delve into it.
I wasn't even done the first chapter before I realized that I needed to buy my own copy. There was so much I needed to highlight and too many notes to make that a borrowed digital copy was not going to work. I also wanted to be able to lend it to friends and family so it was an easy buy decision at that point. I just wish I had done that to begin with 😅
About the author, Dr Gabor Maté
Dr. Gabor Maté is a Canadian physician and author, renowned for his research on the lasting impact of childhood trauma on physical and mental health in adulthood. He is the author of many books with the Myth of Normal being his most ambitious work yet.
Born in Budapest, Hungary, in 1944, Dr. Gabor Maté is a survivor of the Nazi genocide. At just five months old, he lost his maternal grandparents to the horrors of Auschwitz. The war claimed the life of his aunt, and his father endured forced labor under the Nazis.
These early experiences undoubtedly shaped Dr. Maté's outlook on life and fueled his commitment to understanding trauma and its profound impact on individuals and society.
What is "normal" really?
Dr. Gabor Maté questions the true definition of "normal" health as societies grapple with increasing prescription drug usage, rising blood pressure, and a surge in adolescent mental illness. Through a compelling blend of research, personal narratives, and philosophical reflections, he dismantles the myth that there is a one-size-fits-all definition of normal.
The Myth of Normal aims to unravel common misconceptions about illness, drawing connections between individual disease such as Cancer, Chron's diseases, IBS, depression and the broader decline in societal well-being.
Despite advancements in Western medicine, he argues that the system often neglects the holistic treatment of individuals, disregarding the impact of cultural stressors on the body and mind.
Nearly 70% of Americans are on at least one prescription drug; more than half take two. In Canada, every fifth person has high blood pressure. In Europe, hypertension is diagnosed in more than 30% of the population. And everywhere, adolescent mental illness is on the rise.
So what is really “normal” when it comes to health?
The author explores how society's relentless pursuit of a standardized norm often marginalizes those who fall outside its prescribed boundaries.
Throughout the book, one thing is clear: The interconnectedness of physical and mental well-being cannot be ignored.
How the Myth of Normal changed my perspective
This book left a lasting impression on me, altering how I perceive the behavior of both my loved ones and myself.
It prompted me to reflect on my own adverse childhood experiences, deepening my understanding of their potential influence on my current behavior. With the help of a brilliant trauma specialist, Hailey Patry, I traveled back to my childhood and revisited traumas and adverse experiences.
Recording it all in a document, stepping back and seeing it all there on paper was revealing of a broader story that explains a lot of the person I am today.
Talking it out with Hailey, was an eye opening experience.
I also thought about all the loved ones with whom I've had conflicts and falling outs. Thinking about them through the lens of trauma, I couldn't help but feel the resentment and anger morph into a deep empathy and understanding. Many of my loved ones have been through traumatic childhood experiences such as abandonment, profound, bullying, neglect, isolation and sexual assault. As Maté explains, these experiences have a lasting impact and our relationships have undoubtedly suffered as a result. Still, reading this book has allowed me to be more understanding and therefore more forgiving of my loved ones.
Maté's discussion on the impact of childhood neglect on adult mental health opened my eyes as a parent as well. I am now much more attentive to my children, ensuring they receive the love and attention they need. I pay special attention to their stress levels and do my best to prevent the escalation into melt-downs which can increase cortisol levels to the point that it affects their physiology permanently.
Why you should read the Myth of Normal
I won't lie, this book is gut wrenching. But it is a must read.
If you are in need of healing or are navigating conflict with loved ones, this book will give you a much needed perspective.
There is no shortage of tragedy in the world. As traumatic events unfold around us, I worry about the mental health of our future generations.
As I write this, we are in month two of the 2023 Palestine - Israel war following a horrific attack on Israel on Oct 7th 2023. I can't help but feel a sense of impending doom for all the trauma that is sure to follow.
It's undeniable that various geopolitical, historical, and cultural influences contribute to the region's current state. Applying the book's principles, one might consider how cultural expectations, political turmoil, and the lingering effects of historical traumas shape the mental and physical well-being of individuals and communities.
Read this book.
If we take its teachings to heart, it has the potential to help us
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★ Become more forgiving of your own shortcomings and develop some self-compassion
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★ Improve your relationships by helping you develop a better understanding of your loved ones
- ★ Create a better society by increasing tolerance for differences and diversity
The Myth of Normal invites us to celebrate our differences and appreciate the beauty that arises when we break free from the constraints of an artificial standard of normalcy.
It ultimately encourages a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of what it means to be human.
And couldn't we all use some more humanity right now?
